OMG SCARY!
Dogs are not the same as people. They experience the world with scent as their primary sense versus the visual input we humans rely most heavily on. They have instincts that differ from ours. Their worldview is very different than ours. Yet I find that envisioning the world from their point of view is often beneficial when training them. By putting ourselves in their paws, we can empathize with their experiences and, by doing so, help them find their way better.
This year, I was stung by a yellow jacket twice on separate occasions. I have never been stung before. It hurt A LOT but, otherwise, I was fine. I survived. I didn’t do anything to aggravate the wasp; it just nailed me out of seemingly nowhere.
Fast forward to earlier this week when four yellow jackets entered my house and were hanging out in my kitchen. I’d had them in my house before on a few occasions over the years I’ve lived here. It was a nuisance but no big deal. Until this week. I was SCARED. I have never felt that scared and anxious about having an insect in my home before. I felt panicky. My so-called higher brain could rationalize this event. They weren’t acting aggressively (they were just hanging out on various flat surfaces). Aside from causing me discomfort on previous occasions, they hadn’t caused me any major distress. Yet my body reacted with fear and panic. I managed to overcome it and take care of the problem but, even a few days later, I find myself hypervigilant around my doorway (making sure no more come in). I am quicker to startle when a flying insect comes near me (even though, both times I was stung, I didn’t notice the yellow jacket until it had already gotten me!). Those seemingly minor experiences that weren’t “a big deal” have seriously affected my behavior. I can rationalize my responses. I can talk to myself and remind myself I’m not in real danger. My dogs (as far as we know), can’t do that.
It’s not just an issue with fear though I find that’s the one easiest for most of us to empathize with (plus it’s often irrational in both species). Frustration is another big one. This one, I think we often overlook.
Frustration is incredibly demotivating. Think of the last time you were frustrated. Maybe your Internet was down when you’d planned on hopping online to chat with friends, play a game, do some research, or mindlessly scroll Facebook. What did you do next? Curse? Check the router? Troubleshoot your connection? Turn off the computer and turn it back on? Throw something? Call your ISP and bitch them out? Just give up and find a book to read instead?
BARK BARK! I can’t get to that dog I want!
What about your dog? What does s/he do when frustrated? Bark at you? Spin? Race off to grab a toy to play with? Sniff the ground. Leave? Bite you? Did you realize those are signs of frustration?
We get frustrated when the path to what we want is unclear. You wanted to get online and you couldn’t. Your dog wanted the cookie or toy s/he earns for doing behaviors and didn’t get it. Again, while we humans can rationalize why the Internet is down and why we can’t get what we want, our dogs aren’t able to do that. They expected a reinforcer and didn’t get it.
When it comes to training with, working with, and living with our dogs; empathy matters. We need to set up our training sessions so that frustration is minimized. You have to make sure your criteria is clear to your dog. If it’s not, they cannot succeed. They (hopefully!) want what we have to offer so, if they’re not giving us what we’d expected (Hey! We’re now frustrated, too!), we have to alter our plan so that it’s clearer to them what we’re expecting so that they can get what they’re hoping for.
Likewise, if they are afraid of something, we need to step into their worldview and try to relate to what they’re going through. When you’ve been afraid, has it ever helped you when someone yelled at you? Told you that you were being foolish for acting afraid? Jerked you around? Or took the time to recognize you were upset and manage the situation to alleviate your concerns?
We’ll never know exactly how our dogs feel in situations any more than we can truly know what’s going on in the mind of another human being. But the best relationships are build on good communication and understanding. Put yourself in your dog’s paws and try and see how s/he is feeling in that moment. Use that knowledge to build a better training plan and, consequently, a stronger bond.
