As a child, I always wanted to be a dog trainer. It was a silly dream for someone who had never owned a dog but it did eventually come to fruition. I started off as a hobby trainer and helped out others on occasion. I then taught classes as a volunteer and, finally, I became a professional dog trainer (even if only part time).
If we don’t count professionally, I have been a dog trainer for the better part of 13 years. That’s a long time. Even when I’m not teaching others, I’m training my own dogs (either at home or in classes). Or pursuing continuing education to hone my training skills. Most, if not all, of my social engagements involve dogs in some way. And there is usually training involved even if not directly. Almost all of my friends I have met through my dogs and/or dog training.
For a long time, I have defined myself as a dog trainer and now I find myself not. Due to Kyu’s illness and year-long struggle with training, we’re taking a break from it. He has some baggage about training from inadvertent pressure and generally feeling “icky” while doing anything together. So I’m not training my own dog. I’ve stopped teaching classes at the local obedience training club because I rarely actually get to teach. My classes are consistently canceled due to low enrollment. It hasn’t been worth the effort for me and, to be honest, it’s been depressing more than it’s been invigorating. This Monday will be my last class I’m teaching professionally for the time being. The program through which I teach classes is undergoing some restructuring and rethinking. It’s possible it is not a permanent break. . .but it also could be.
So I find myself no longer a dog trainer.
I’m not sure exactly how I feel about this. Kyu definitely needed the break and I am glad I was finally able to “let it go” for the time being and give him the time he needs to decompress. I’ve really been enjoying teaching my pet dog classes; far more than I ever thought I would coming from a sports background (which is still my preference). It’s been a lot of fun to come up with curricula for various classes focusing on areas where the general dog owning public struggles. I’ve been very fortunate the group I worked with was so willing to give me free reign to design classes. It didn’t hurt that most of my ideas were incredibly well-received. 😉
However, I’ve also felt a little disenchanted with training this year. I don’t know if it was the loss of Risa or Kyu’s illness. Or getting my health issues under control. I went to a lot of great seminars (Fenzi Camp, Julie Flanery, Monique Plinck to name a few) where I learned a TON that I still have yet to implement. I took some really great online classes, too, and have been making progress in our in person agility classes. But I’ve pulled back from it a lot, too. I’ve been less involved with the obedience club in general. My freestyle trial went well this year but I felt like I was going through the motions with it more than actually enjoying the process. This stuff hasn’t been energizing me the way it used to be overall.
So maybe this unwanted break is exactly what I need. Maybe, like Kyu, I need to step back and take a break from it for a while. It will still be there when I get back. And maybe both of us will find that passion and joy again.